My testimony

The foundation of my life…

…is in Jesus / Yeshua HaMaschiah.

You might have been thinking why some people keep talking about faith issues. You might have been annoyed about it. ”Do you have to talk about it?” You may think. If you have a moment, please read my story. I would like to tell you why I cannot be quiet about Jesus (Yeshua).

”If you want to love someone, you can’t just hide it. It fills your heart and your thoughts. And then you don’t count how much it costs to love.” (Exit-band) This is exactly what I have experienced when I have found the love of Jesus in my life.

The decision of a five-year old girl

I have allways believed that there is God, Jesus (Yeshua). I heard about Him as a child and then I knew that there is two opposite places where to go after death: heaven or hell. The first one to those who love Jesus and believe in Him and the other to those who don’t believe in Him and don’t follow Him.

I wanted to go in heaven, to believe in Jesus and follow Him. That’s why I decided to choose Him as my personal Savior when I was just five-year-old girl. I truly believed in the Bible and I saw the miracles among my relatives that only God could do.

In my teen years my childhood faith continued as a confidence that Jesus guides my life. I saw the life as an unlimited infinity of possibilities and I thought that my way would be stable without difficulties.

Doubts and the crisis

As the time went on, I noticed that my firm inner conciousness about the existence of God and Jesus wasn’t a self-evident thing to other people. They regarded it as a tale which was related to the gullibleness of childhood. I started to hide my faith to make my reputation better in other people’s eyes. At the same time I started to adopt the mainstream scientific world view more and more. I started to question the correctedness of the Bible and I got many doubts. I started to think that maybe some of the Scriptures are true and the others are like ”half true” and the rest… In fact, I didn’t want to analyse it further at this point because everything was going so well in my life and the future seemed so sunny and lovely.

When I was a child I heard from the Bible that Jesus will come back to the earth. In my crisis I felt anxious about His coming and I tried to avoid thinking about it. I didn’t want to be singing in the heavenly choir yet because I was young and I felt that all my life was ahead. I wanted to gain a lot of experiences before that!

I believed in God and in Jesus, but I didn’t care where other people were going with their beliefs. I relied on my own ability to control my life. God was a part of my life, but I didn’t give Him all my life. I kept Him in my life ”just in case” that everything didn’t go well.

When I reached adulthood certain things started to stop me on my way. I was expecting our second child, but the pregnancy ended up in miscarriage. The tiny life that was alive suddenly died and I was totally sad. I was wondering if he or she was alive in heaven. Would I be able to see he or she ever? The death came near me, in me. The mourning period changed to the joy when we our daughter was born. I rejoiced and appreciated life in a new way. I realised that this child was really a gift from God!

After our daughter was born my beloved granmother got sick. For me she was a role model of a lively and energetic old lady who had strength over and over again! She was very close and dear to me. She was a unique person who affected the people around a lot. I saw her weakness but I still expected that she would get a healthy life until the end of her life. I thought that she wouldn’t die yet. I rejected even the thought of it because admitting it would be the same as face the fact that I will also get old and die. I started to get anxious about death and I was hoping that I wouldn’t have to face it for a long time. What if my grandmother would die? She believed in Jesus and she knew where she was going…but I wasn’t sure if I believed all things in the Bible. If it wasn’t true, and we would be separated forever without the eternal life. How  horrible situation that woud be!

I have a conflict in my thoughts and I doubted even the basis of my faith, the meaning of my life and the sense of the life itself. Why I would even read the Bible if i don’t believe all of it? Could I believe in it with my more and more scientific world view? Was there any sense in anything any more? Why I was born only to live for a while and then die out? In my anxiety I still prayed Jesus. I told Him how uncertain I was and how much I was afraid of death. In the evening I blessed myself and my family because I started to fear my own death. I realised that if I let God go out of my life, I would loose my last lifeline. That would mean that I would have lost all my life.

Revival

I started to read the Bible to search for information about heaven and eternal life. I knew that I was on the right road because I had asked Jesus into my heart, but I was afraid of my own doubts. Little by little the Word of God started to calm my heart. Jesus didn’t threathen, gnash nor frighten me. Insted of that He said to me several times: ”Don’t be afraid.”. Day by day He came more close to me and I realised that He could withstand my doubts. My doubts were as ridiculous as if I was to question the existence of the sun during night time. Like the sun didn’t stop to exist during night time, the same way the existence of God is even more obvious as we watch all His works around us. Finally I accepted the finiteness of life. I understood that even though I would use the whole capacity of my mind, or even though I would read all the man-made books I wouldn’t find the answers to all of my questions about the existence of man and the infinity. I came to a conclusion that human being is so wisely made that he cannot exist without a bigger purpose than just to live and die. I realised that the life on earth would be only a prelude to those who inherit the eternal life by their faith in Jesus Christ (Yeshua HaMaschiah). The heaven wouldn’t be just some kind of state of slumber, but rather a wonderful reality where we could be with our loved ones and to continue our life with them and with Jesus, in our new tasks, without sickness, pain and anxiety. All this passes my understanding and the faith is more that the human sense.

During my crisis I realised that I needed to choose my side: to believe in the Bible, God and Jesus by 100 % or to believe nothing at all. I chose to believe that the Bible is the truth and after that I felt like a new page opened in my life. My eyes have been opened to see the reality in different way that before.

A new point of view to life

As a mere human being I wouldn’t care so much about other people, but after I have been touched by the love of Jesus I realise how much the people around me need Jesus. I am still selfish and it would be easier to ignore many things, but the love of Jesus demands me gently to spread the gospel and the love of Jesus to other people. His love is so different from the imperfect human love.

As humans we are like mirrors to each other. From the mirror we watch how valuable and loved we are. But as every person, included the believers are imperfect, our mirror may reflect the negative things to other people. That’s why there are so many victims of other people, whose heart is wounded and who feel they need to defens themselves all the time. That is not the will of God.

I want to apologize that I have made mistakes in my behavior towards other people. We are all in the same line in front of Jesus and we cannot please Him with our good deeds. What He wants is our faith in Him. Are we willing to follow Him? When you repent your sins, believe in Jesus and ask Him to be the Lord of your life you will get the conformation to your heart that your whole life is in safe hands, and you will get the eternal life.

What the Bible tells about the future?

Jesus is coming back to earth to take His people to be with Him and to save them from the worst happenings in the end times. This is called the rapture. Jesus told us the signs that precede His coming: earthquakes, world’s hate towards Israel and the followers of Jesus / Yeshua. We can already see these signs and that’s why I feel that I need to tell about this everyone so that all you beloved ones would have an opportunity to hear it and have a chance to choose Jesus / Yeshua as the Lord of their lives.

How to get eternal life?

It is sad that in Finland this truth is barely told anymore. The liberal christianity that accepts anything is unfortunately far away from the truth of the Bible. In our country we have been told the lie that anyone that is labeled as a christian or who is a good person will automatically go to heaven regardless their personal relationship with the Son of God, Jesus Christ / Yeshua. And that’s why many people believes that they are good enough to walk in from the narrow gate without Jesus but they will get dissappointed. Jesus said: ”I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.” John 14:6. This is meant for me also, so I can’t get eternal life by being a member of a church.

Jeesus sanoo: ”Minä olen tie ja totuus ja elämä; ei kukaan tule Isän tykö muutoin kuin minun kauttani.” Joh. 14: 6. Tämä kaikki koskee myös minua, eli en voi päästä taivaaseen kristillisen seurakunnan jäsenyydelläkään, jos en sydämessäni ole tullut uskoon eli uudestisyntynyt.

How to get eternal life then? First confess that you have sinned. After that it is important that you turn away from ypur sins and receive God’s forgiveness. Believe and trust that Jesus / Yeshua died and rose from the death for your sins and that only He can save you – not your own deeds. After that commit yourself to follow Him as the Lord of your life.

Receiving Jesus / Yeshua to your heart and following Him is a radical choise. It means surrendering all of your life to Him. It is a matter of life and death, and that is why it is so vital.

I appreciate that you had patience to read this through. Remember that your life is precious and important ♡